Album Review: Jurojin – The Living Measure Of Time

June 23, 2010
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Jurojin - The Living Measure Of TimeTitle: The Living Measure Of Time
Artist: Jurojin
Label: Majestic Elder Recordings/Stomp
Released: 25 June 2010
In one word: Insipid

Let’s begin with a quote from the press release for the “introductory mini-album” from this band, shall we?

“London, UK, early 2008: a musical experiment was put in motion between friends.  The idea was to put together four musicians from diverse musical backgrounds and see what could happen.  Within a few months, Jurojin was born.  Featuring a rock singer, a classical Indian tabla player, a jazz bassist and a metal guitar player…” etc etc.

Sounds interesting, don’t it?  Well, save yourself the effort…it’s not.  Suffice it to say, if you’ve ever heard a Tool album you’ve suffered this kind of tiresome shite before.  What’s that…you love Tool?  You think that Maynard Whatshisface is a genius? Oh, in that case you’re probably gonna love this:  It’s the same wearisome, contemporary “prog-metal” tripe with pretensions of “atmosphere” and uninspired vocals which, while perfectly competent, are more likely to lull one to sleep than magically transport them to “other worlds”.  The only bits I liked were the parts where the rest of the band shut the fuck up and let the more “exotic” instrumentation dominate proceedings for a spell…in fact, if one were to remove the other bits and close the gaps, you’d have a pretty decent, er, 3-5 minute EP in place of a truly tedious 30 minute “mini-album” (and trust me, it seems at least twice that long)!

(And while we’re on the subject, a brief rant on this whole “mini-album” nonsense.  Since when is 7 tracks in 30 minutes not a fully-fledged “album”?  Erm, since about 2006, I think!  Cut the shit, people:  Real “prog-rock” bands like Tangerine Dream and Pink Floyd used to release records with two tracks on ’em and call ’em “albums”.  There’s EPs, albums, and in extreme cases, double- and triple-albums and so forth.  “Mini-album” is nothing more than an apology to the mp3/”free download”-generation for the fact that your album isn’t 77 minutes and 23 tracks long.  Some of the best “albums” ever made were less than half that running time:  The first Dead Kennedys album is just over 33 minutes, fa fuck’s sake.  All this “mini-album” horse-shit can suck my mother-fuckin’ “mini-dick”.  End of lesson for today.)

So, in conclusion, “moving” yes, but only in a “too-many-laxatives” kinda way.

© Michael Bowser, Music Vice

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10 Responses to Album Review: Jurojin – The Living Measure Of Time

  1. Karen on July 8, 2010 at 1:02 am

    Holy shit, that is the most awesome review I have ever read.

  2. Russell Francis on December 4, 2010 at 12:44 am

    You’re a tool mate you have no idea. You’re into Lady Gaga and ‘shite’ like that… and whatever else the radio stations tell you to like.

    You know nothing about music, hence why your a ‘critic’… and a poor excsuse for a human being. I hope one day you choke on your own uselessness.

  3. Michael Bowser on December 6, 2010 at 4:57 am

    Yeah dude, as a matter of fact I do dig the Gaga! At least she knows how to write a good “song”, which is more than I recall this band being able to!! As for radio stations, though…apart from the shit I’m subjected to at my “day job”, can’t say I’ve listened to the radio for a very, very long time. The only reason I even know who Lady Gaga IS is on account of a good friend of mine who, like myself, by and largely goes for more “alternative” kind of music, but still knows a darn fine “pop” artist when they happen upon ’em…

    That “choking” lark sounds like fun. I shall have to put that on my “Things To Do” list. My apologies for letting down the entire human race (apparently) with my disliking of this one insignificant band and their pretentious, mediocre twaddle.

  4. Michael Bowser on December 6, 2010 at 5:00 am

    Oh, and PS: I notice you have the word “Mudvayne” spelled out in your email address. You just lap up crapola music like a pig in shit, don’t ya?! 😀

  5. Jordan on January 5, 2011 at 5:20 am

    pffft, these guy calls prog-metal tripe? fuck him, this is my top 5 best albums of 2010… prog metal is personally one of my most preferred metal sub-genre. get better tastes in music before you review albums mate, wait… if your gonna give an album (especially this one) a bad review… and really take the piss out of em… u should think about what your doin next time mate, and crawl straight back to TUMBLR or whereever the fuck you lurk

  6. Michael Bowser on January 17, 2011 at 2:31 am

    Whoa! The HOSTILITY!! And when it comes with such an immaculate argument, I gotta say I know when I’m beaten. I shall indeed have to endeavour to “get better tastes in music”…good thing we have people like you keeping an eye on quality control in this department, my friend!

    Seems I have touched a nerve with this article? One thing I’ll give this band, they certainly seem to have made some kinda impression on people, if I’m still getting pasted for this review so many eons after the fact. Thanks everyone for reminding me that this shitehouse album exists, it honestly should have been well and truly forgotten by now!!

    PS What the fuck is “TUMBLR”?!?

  7. Thomas Engelaer on June 15, 2011 at 7:25 am

    Just a quick note to remind Mr Bowser on how awesome this album is. Will not be forgotten for a really long
    time. Just like any TOOL album :).

    Enjoy!

  8. Michael Bowser on July 16, 2011 at 2:00 am

    Wowie zowie! More than a year after this review was published, and STILL getting people saying how they actually LIKED it!! Guess one of these years I should build up the courage to give it another listen, maybe I’ll hear that tiny sparkle of genius that I completely failed to detect the first time, eh?! (I’ll pass on subjecting myself to any more Tool in the foreseeable future though. It’s confirmed, they are most definitely SHITE.)

  9. Russell Francis on July 28, 2011 at 2:22 am

    Haha wow… yes, people keep coming back, because this is good music. And they can’t believe how crap a judge you are.. You do need to get a better tase in music, like you pointed out. I’m glad you pointed that out… Baggin Tool as well? Seriously guy? Do you know the first thing about music? And I don’t mean in the naming bands way, I mean playing an instrument? What it takes to record, perform, anything? I bet not, you useless fag!!

  10. Michael Bowser on August 6, 2011 at 1:13 am

    Shit, got me bang-to-rights there, dude. You found my achilles heel: I know NOTHING about music!!! Guess I didn’t learn nothin’ from all them bands I’ve been in over the years (mostly drumming and vocals if you must know, so fair enough, maybe I have never played a proper “instrument”, haha)…

    Presuming you also “know” something about music, my friend, you should know the first rule, not only of music but indeed of music criticism: It’s all PERSONAL TASTE. You’re entitled to yours as much as I’m entitled to mine. Oh, if only we all thought the same, then the whole world could link hands and sing the same happy song, blah blah blah. But for better or worse, people are DIFFERENT, and I for one am grateful for this.

    You have my respect for at least being passionate about your point of view. Jurojin would appear to be a lucky band given how fanatical their supporters appear to be. There, I said something “nice” about them. Can I have some peace now?! Heh.

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