The Gig: Airbourne
Where: The Phoenix, Toronto, ON, Canada
When: Wednesday 4 August 2010
In One Word: Explosive
STATUS REPORT………. This is Lieutenant-General Brian A. Banks reporting from the rock ‘n’ roll frontline for Music Vice in Toronto, Ontario, Canada. Reports of an Australian group invading Canada can now be confirmed. The four-piece invasion outfit, code-named ‘Airbourne’, sighted at 22.42 hours on Wednesday 4 August 2010, where they dropped in at Phoenix Concert Theatre.
OVERVIEW………. Airbourne delivered an explosive performance. Armed with Gibson guitars, Marshall stacks, alcohol and adequate clothing for three-quarters of the group, the onslaught led by Airbourne left a crowd of non-hostile locals in various states of shock, bewilderment and inebriation.
Airbourne infiltrated the locals, winning hearts and minds, with Group Captain Joel O’Keeffe rallying support from the locals by delivering the message of rock ‘n’ roll from on top of the speaker stack beside the soundboard and also from the top of the bar. The vast majority of the crowd were observed participating in clear support of Airbourne’s antics and can be considered as being their allies.
CASUALTIES………. Zero dead and no physical injuries witnessed. Potential bruised egos to any members of groups who consider themselves to play the same brand of hard rock. Also, some attractive blonde female members of the audience may need to consider a morning-after pill if they were not adequately protected.
THREAT RATING………. Not for the faint of heart or limp of wrist. Anybody in the crowd who are members of an emo or new wave group may need to seek shock therapy after exposure to genuine, no-bullshit, no-drama, full-on sweaty hard rock with songs about getting made and getting laid.
RECOMMENDED RESPONSE………. Retaliation is not an option. Canadian groups can learn a thing or two from Airbourne. The lesson being, rock music doesn’t always have to be artful, complicated deep or clever to be good – sometimes it’s OK to just crank the volume & distortion and rock out like a bad one.
NOTED MOVEMENTS………. Airbourne have been spotted on radar heading North-West, with their next target being Winnipeg, Manitoba on Saturday 7 August 2010. Anybody in the vicinity who owns any Anvil, AC/DC or Priest records is recommended to attend. Oh yeah – lock up yer daughters!
END OF TRANSMISSION, OVER AND OUT.
© Brian Banks, Editor, Music Vice
Pictures of Airbourne at Phoenix Concert Theatre, Toronto